People always have very warm feelings at the beginning of a love relationship. At the beginning of falling in love, because the chemical reaction inside the body is too strong, almost everyone is facing love with a “moth to fire” mentality, hoping to give their best and what they can give to each other. But in fact, this enthusiasm is difficult to maintain for a long time. After a period of time, everyone’s passion fades, leaving more fatigue of plain life. At this time, it is easy to lead to two people breaking up. Anyone who has some emotional experience knows this truth. At this time, everyone wants to find a way to maintain a long-term relationship.
If you want to maintain a long-term relationship, you should first understand what is the essence of love.
Many people believe that the essence of love is giving, but it is not. The essence of love should be self-interest. The so-called self-interest is not what we think of as self-interest, but a kind of mutual benefit. The reason why you love someone is very simple, because this person has the characteristics that attract you, and this kind of characteristics can make you feel happy. Similarly, the reason why the other person will love you is that your characteristics can satisfy him.
In this way, it can be seen that unnecessary pay can not bring any benefits. For love, paying is necessary, and paying should also focus on ways and methods. Love him in the way he needs. This is the way to maintain love. The reason why we can’t maintain a long-term love relationship is that we don’t love in the way others need. Many times, people who love but can’t love are making ineffective investment in a self moving way. This is the fundamental reason why we can’t maintain a long-term relationship.
What kind of payment is the effective way in love?
① Give a positive response
For a close relationship, a positive response is very important. When facing their partners, many people will spread their negative energy to each other because of their excessive intimacy. They think their partner should be a channel for them to vent their emotions, but it’s not. If you only send negative information to your partner, your relationship will turn from positive to negative. Relationships that carry too many negative emotions will eventually get worse because they are overwhelmed.
② Each has a private space
Many people hope to achieve a close relationship in love. Of course, it is the best if they can achieve a close relationship. But the communication between people is more important is the sense of propriety and boundary. Even couples who live together every day cannot easily break through this boundary. Two people must have their own private space, which is also a breathing space. Due to the inevitable friction between people, this breathing space is necessary for everyone.
③ Cultivate tacit understanding
What couples fear most is that there is no tacit understanding. Because people have the same needs and expectations for intimacy, they all hope that their intimacy has particularity, which stems from the tacit understanding between two people. A sense of tacit understanding will give people a kind of self-evident joy, and this tacit understanding not only needs to be born and accumulated in time, but also needs everyone’s deliberate discovery. Observing each other’s detailed habits in life and inadvertently revealing this sense of tacit understanding will make the relationship between two people closer.
④ Relationship equality
Equality in intimate relationship is an old topic. For a couple, if they can’t get along equally, the unbalanced relationship will eventually lead to more and more contradictions between them. On the other hand, the damage caused by the unbalanced relationship is essentially bilateral. Both people will feel tired in this relationship and naturally can’t get along with each other over time.
There is no doubt that love begins with passion. For couples, the initial passion is the reason why two people choose to be together. The later stage of getting along needs careful management. If you really want a relationship to be stable for a period of time, you need two people to work together. It’s useless to pay blindly. What’s important is to get along in the most appropriate way. Only when both sides feel comfortable, this relationship is a truly healthy relationship.